THE BEST OF CRAIGSLIST: THE WORST OF HUMANITY

I recently discovered that there is a page on the Craigslist site called The Best of Craigslist. It is a place where Craigslist users and visitors can submit posts that are idoitic, sexually explicit, and down right funny.
I will quote a few of them here, and you will find the link to the main "best of page" at the end of this post. SO without further ado...The Best of Craigslist...The Worst of Humanity:

IN A WELL, NEED LADDER:
-I'm offering a reward for the first person who shows up with at least a 25 foot ladder to the well off of rt. 322 and Sugarsbridge Rd. My friends won't come because they think i'm joking. I'm definitely NOT... I have water but have not eaten in two days.

-Reward is negotiable depending on how quickly you get here. And FYI to the kid that threw rocks down the well at me yesterday evening, I'm going to find you and do terrible thing to you.

PORN LAPTOP
-I have an older laptop, about 8 years old, it's a blue toshiba. It has a few missing keys and a few scratches, and only about 40 gigs of free space. I got a newer laptop though and I don't need this one. I call it a porn laptop because I'm pretty sure it has a few viruses and stuff, but I still use it for porn. It runs internet pretty fast and I already have about 200 favorites of porn sites saved in my favorites for firefox. It works for porn perfectly, but not big or fast enough for music/video editing or any of that. I wouldn't type any credit card info with it though, like I said it has some viruses and spyware so it's not worth the risk. Great for porn though.

So if you just want an extra laptop to sneak in your office that is dedicated just for porn, I got your back.
Give me an email, price is negotiable

FREE HORNETS NEST
I have a hornet's nest free for the taking! Hornets included. You must remove. Will need a ladder, it's under a 2nd floor eave. I just noticed it today. It's almost the size of a volleyball.


WHALEMOBILE FOR SALE

This was a project my grandfather worked on when I was a kid, and it used to terrify me, as I have an inexplicable fear of these evil creatures. I am hoping to sell it by the end of the month, as I owe child support and don't have the cash to cover it at the moment. This was built off of the frame of an otherwise perfect 1986 Yugo Cabrio. The vehicle itself has 38,000 miles on it, but it was badly damaged in a hailstorm and the bodywork was completely demolished. My grandfather got the idea of turning it into a WhaleMobile off of some cartoon, and he took his crazy idea and ran with it.

GORGEOUS VIKING LOOKING DUDE THAT WORKS AT SMALL BAR
You: Gorgeous Viking looking dude that works at Small Bar and Map Room. Big , tall with an awesome beard.

Me: Curly hair, black, with cleavage and shy.
At some point you may have told me your name but I was drunk at the time. Last night I kept peeking up from my intense text conversation to gaze upon your huge hands.
Here's a thought- Please pillage and plunder my vagina

1,325 POPE HATS
Because of this terrible economy, I'm having to shut down my business. I have OVER 1300 Pope hats (replicas) that I REALLY need to get rid of. The pope hats came from China and are a little too small for most adult heads and are also irritating to the skin, so you would need to have long hair or wear a smaller hat underneath (just like the REAL POPE). Dogs do not like to wear these pope hats, but maybe a large cat or maybe a nice dog would wear one. My dogs will not but they are not very nice and always hate being dressed up like for Halloween when we tried to dress them up like batman but they became very very agitated and bit a neighbors kid. I will lock the dogs up when you come get all of these pope hats.




SATANIC SEXUAL RITUAL
Looking for a woman with evil appetites.

We will have nasty, evil, sweaty, probably illegal sexual encounters in order to bring about the rise of Lucifer. (ie Satan)
Must be willing to do all styles of sexual positions, except Missionary. That is the Lord's Way, and we will have none of that. Besides, if we do it Missionary, Satan gets angry and a kitten dies. I like kittens.


-There's plenty more where these came from, some of them are really stupid, so you gotta fish for the good ones but when you find one its like Christmas. Heres the link.
THE BEST OF CRAIGSLIST