Chicago Bulls Players= Intuition of a Sack of Rocks

 This clip is from Sportsnite, A local Chicago sports show on Comcast Sportsnet. Here's the setup, they are interviewing players Luol Deng, Derrick Rose, and Joakim Noah about their upcoming meeting with Lebron James, Shaq, and the Cavs. Listen to how stupid these supposedly college educated people sound. For those of you who find it difficult to understand, I've written a transcript below.

Deng: "You gotta focus on him, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta try to make the other guys beat you. Like I said you gotta make it tough, ah, you gotta make it tough for him, In terms of ya know...scoring. And ya know the more he shoots really, ya know, the better for the team...if he's not makin 'em."

NO SHIT LUOL!
Now lets see what the star #1 overall pick for the Bulls has to say...

Rose: Random incoherent blabbering...You gotta play...They got good players...We got good players, ya know..We just gotta go out there and compete against them.

THANKS FOR DESCRIBING THE PURPOSE OF THE GAME OF BASKETBALL!

I would put something here about Noah's response, but to be honest I think you all can hear him clearly since he is the most articulate when it comes to pronouncing words in the english language. But that still doesn't hide the fact that these guys have no idea how to express themselves with words. Just a bunch of robots who's DIRECTIVE 1=(robot voice) deliver item of interest (basketball) to target (basket).

BJs, ZJs, HJs Deemed Unnacceptable StubHub Currency

According to MyFox Philly,

"A Philadelphia woman was arrested Tuesday after she allegedly posted an ad on Craigslist offering to perform sex acts in exchange for World Series tickets."

Apparently this lady reeeeeeaaaaalllly wanted a chance to watch the Phillies go for back to back world series titles this year against the Yankees. I have to say I respect this woman's determination and inventiveness. The internet is a wonderful place where you can get virtually anything you want for a price. Apparently that price was giving BJs, ZJs, and HJs for Susan Finkelstein, 43, of Philidelphia, PA. According to police, she advertised herself as a

"buxom, blond, die-hard Phillies fan who was desperately seeking World Series tickets and would have sex to get them."

Her post included such great marketing dialogue as...

""I'm the creative type! Maybe we can help each other"

Ha! She even had the nerve to describe herself as "gorgeous". Listen I could understand this behavior if the Cubs had made it to the world series and she was a diehard Cubs fan, but the Phillies were just there last year and won! And they have a solid team and a solid manager which suggests we havent seen the last of them either.

Apparently, Finkelstein was busted when a police officer responded to her post and she offered to perform various sex acts in exchange for the coveted tickets. I'm assuming that the police officer had the tickets and was ready to make the trade, until he saw what she looked like and decided those box seats were worth more than a raging case of herpes and a new girlfriend.

Steve Phillips Goes Hoggin (and loses his job in the process)

Steve  Phillips, long time ESPN Baseball Tonight analyst and former NY Mets GM, as you may have heard, has recentlly admitted to having an affair with his 22 year old production assistant, Brooke Hundley. Now just take a look at the picture at left. C'mon Stevie! you just blew a solid job at the worlds most respected sports news network for this Rosie O'Donnell/Chupacabra hybrid. ESPN announced Sunday that they would not be asking the silver fox back to the network. If you think that the fact that good old Stevie would go for a beast like this is the best part of the story, keep reading. According to NYDailynews.com,
"After the July affair ended, it was reported, Hundley repeatedly called Phillips' wife, Marni, and also left her a tawdry letter describing intimate locations of Phillips' birthmarks.

She also allegedly stalked his teenage son on Facebook, asking him about his parents' love life."

What a f-ing nutcase! Someone should tell Darth Vader and the Stormtrooper to make their wive's cell numbers unlisted. Next thing you know Brooke will be stalking Luke Skywalker (because he's Vader's son) on facebook. Now don't get me wrong, If there's one positive thing to come out of this, its that we now know that facebook is an acceptable arena for exposing dirty old men with fat chick fetishes. Tell your Dads to make their facebook pages private!